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A Female Ejaculation
Primer
Female ejaculation is the g-spot's kissing cousin when
it comes to "is it real or is it fake" medical debates.
In one corner are the legions of doctors, who when
asked, maintain that there is no way a woman can
ejaculate. They point out that in their textbooks, and
anatomy classes there are simply no structures to
provide for this physiological experience. They say that
if anything is happening, it's urination.
In the other corner there are arguably larger legions of
women, women's health practitioners (including doctors),
sex activists, a few scientists, and thousands or tens
of thousands of women who say that it does exist.
There are no standards or rules for this. Some women are
worried that they have incontinence and that they are
peeing during sex, or specifically during orgasm. Some
women have always been "very very wet" during arousal
and climax, and like the way they respond. Because of
the increased attention paid in the popular media to
female ejaculation there are many women who want to know
more, and are interested in trying to ejaculate.
The bottom line, as with all matters of sexual response
and behavior is to avoid any sort of pressure to do
something or experience something that doesn't feel
right for you. If you do something that you think is
ejaculating, and your happy with it, that's great. If
you're concerned that you are "too wet" during sex, you
should know that there is a very natural variation in
the amount of vaginal lubrication that women produce,
and getting wet is probably just a sign of healthy
arousal. You can always have a towel handy if it's a
real concern for you. And if you're interested in
learning more about female ejaculation then you should
go for it. Just try and avoid the pitfalls of
performance pressure, and thinking that ejaculation is
some magic bullet that will transform your sex life from
humdrum to super fantastic. Of course it might do that,
but counting on it is a sure way to miss important
learning and experience along the way.
Here are a few tips gleaned from the experts:
1. Empty your bladder first. The feeling just before
ejaculating is similar to the feeling you have when you
have to pee, but you want the urge to come on as a
result of arousal and not a full bladder.
2. Practice in a comfortable place. Many writers suggest
that one of the reasons women don't ejaculate is that
they hold back when the feel the urge to "release". To
deal with this worry, you can try to practice in the
bath or while sitting on the toilet. The idea is to lose
your fear around the possibility that you might pee.
(This seems as good a time as any to point out that
peeing is not the end of the world, and many women who
experience incontinence deal with this all the time. In
the face of hot sex and a great orgasm, a little urine
shouldn't get in the way!)
3. Most people say that ejaculation will come on as a
result of stimulating the paraurethral glands and/or the
g-spot (urethral sponge).
4. Stimulating the g-spot for any length of time will be
easiest to do with a dildo or vibrator. Any toy that is
firm, or one that is curved for g-spot stimulation will
do.
5. Use a lot of clitoral stimulation, but also stimulate
your urethra by massaging inside the top of your vagina
both around the opening and inside a few inches. Many
women find urethral stimulation very pleasant in and of
itself.
6. Keeping up the clitoral stimulation you may also want
to try and stimulate the g-spot . Some women like g-spot
stimulation, others find it too sensitive, or don't feel
much at all from this type of stimulation.
7. Vary the strokes and the pressure and experiment with
what feels good.
8. As you are doing this you may feel the urge to pee
(along with feeling very turned on). This is the
experience many women say happens just prior to
ejaculating. At this point most of the instruction
manuals resort to phrases like "go with the flow" and
"just let it out". It's hard to provide specific
instruction on how to "go with the flow". The best I can
offer is to follow the above guidelines and experiment
on your own. Make sure you have fun doing it, and that
every time you try, you give yourself a wonderful orgasm
whether you ejaculate or not. If you want to know more
there are several books and videos devoted to the
subject worth checking out. |
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